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Finding Me

I miss the days when I could fly by the seat of my pants. I hate being responsible and being prepared. I just like to show up and throw stuff against the wall and see what sticks.

Unfortunately, I have come to the realization that I can't live my life that way. In my line of work people are counting on me to be the adult in the room (someone who is prepared, on time, and full of timeless wisdom) and there are times I wish I could be the one without a care in the world.

So here I am today (and in some respects) a shell of my former self. My spontaneity in check by the weight of adulthood (bills, family, and a career).

But does it have to be this way?

Do we have to give up our free spirit to be a slave to responsibility?

The obvious answer is no, but why is the answer "no"?

I think the answer is in how we have been constructed.

If we go back to Genesis, we will find that God has made man in his image. This means that there are aspects of who we are that are a mirror image of God.

And our God is a God who is both responsible yet is very creative. God ordered the heavens and the earth in such a way that they work in a very symbiotic way, that is precise and calculated. God also took the time to be creative in designing animals like giraffes to zebras to hippos. God is both responsible and God is creative. And if God has the ability to be both creative and responsible then we (his children) created in his image should also be able to express and live life with both capabilities fully intact.

We have this responsible adult side of us that has boundaries and expectations. And we have this other side of us that needs to be free.

And if we are to make the most of this life we need to find time to be responsible adults and care free children.

As you can tell, my struggle is finding space for my creativity and my spontaneity. For some of you it may be finding space in your life to being the responsible adult.

Wherever you may land on the spectrum take time to let loose or take the time to do those things that sit in a pile in a corner that you put off because you refuse to be an adult.

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